All of us remember this picture.
It was taken after Chris Brown beat and strangled Rihanna. A lot of us women were probably sitting behind our computer screens with our hands covering our mouths thinking “How could someone be that cruel.” Most of us rallied our support for her, taking it to the internet. We left heartfelt messages of strength and the ones that have been through this left notes of encouragement. Recently there has been a rumor that her and Brown were going to re-unite for a duet. This is not what bothers me. If Rihanna wants to meet her attacker head on and sing with him, fine. What bothers me are the comments being left on stories about it on the internet. It is disturbing to see young teen-age girls saying “Chris Brown could beat me anytime” or “Chris Brown could knock me around all he wanted as long as he kissed and made it better afterwards.” Seriously? I am in shock to think that any young girl could think that is okay or it is a joke.
I tend to think like Miranda Lambert does. In my neck of the woods it is never okay to hit a girl for any reason. We as women want everyone to believe that we are as strong as a man and we really are. We push 8lb babies (and larger) out of our hoo-ah’s, we do enough work for 4 people during the day, and we are amazing at keeping our emotions in check so we do not kill our significant other. However, something we forget is that a 110 pound girl is not match for a 200lb man. When you really sit and think about that you realize how vulnerable and fragile we are. You realize how defenseless you can be against that. Then you have the flip side. Men being abused by women because they are too much of a man to hit back. Abuse is such a vicious cycle and affects everyone. So with all of the advertising, foundations, and media attention when did our girls get the impression that it was okay for someone to hit them? That it is sexy to have a possessive man? For those that think that maybe I am over-reacting then please explain this tweet to me that was posted by a teenage girl during the Grammy’s:
I’d let Chris Brown beat me up anytime.
That statement right there scares me and what scares me even more is that it wasn’t the only one like that. As a mother of two young daughters I try every day to instill that it is not okay to be abused, tormented, or treated with disrespect. Now they are girls and sarcasm is their second language so 9 times out of 10 their response is “You send me to school”. I know that they go through a lot in school and we talk about it, but I explain to them I am talking about out there in the real world. My oldest will be graduating in a few years and will be going off to a new city, new school, and new people. I want her to know that this behavior is not okay. It is wrong and any amount of glorifying it on the internet is never going to make it right. I don’t care how rich, how sexy, or how important he is in life, if he is beating you that is not okay. Verbal abuse is not okay. I also try to teach them that respect earns respect. Hitting or verbally abusing their boyfriend is not okay either. Using your PMS as an excuse to be a complete biatch to him or anyone for that matter is not okay. I am sorry but bleeding 7 days out of a month does not give you a free ride to be a diva.
We are raising our children in a time when abuse seems almost glorified. Video games are being sold by the millions that promote beating and killing women. Everywhere you look there is movies, shows, etc. that center around violence. It sometimes is very difficult to try to teach our children (boys and girls) that this is not okay. They are becoming almost desensitized to it. I remember quite a few months ago I read an article online where an 11 year old boy stabbed his best friend to death. The cops said when they arrived he was in floor rocking saying “I don’t understand why he won’t wake up. They always get back up in the game, make him get back up.” He honestly did not realize that once someone is dead, they are dead.
What are some of the things you try to do to teach your girls and boys about violence in this day and age?
Till We Dish Again,
Rebelle and the girls